i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
