Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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