Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
