so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
