I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize