I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
