it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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