If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im holly from the hills drunk
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
