I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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