I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
