The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
