it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
