I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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