WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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