i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize