and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
