Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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