This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
