Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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