he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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