I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
