I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
