what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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