I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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