I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
