you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My ATM looks so different sober.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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