I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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