great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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