how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
