Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
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Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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