Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
