the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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