He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
