It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
