Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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