either way he was missing a nipple.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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