Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize