hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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