he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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