Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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