you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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