Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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