Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
