So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
