i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
