their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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