Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
