I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
