I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
