I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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