I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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