Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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