exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
