she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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