So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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