Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
