i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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