I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I need a beard to bite.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
