one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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