one might say we're banned from that church
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
