oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
