Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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