And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize