You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
