Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
